Parenting-21 is a study that explores how Australian parents from various cultural backgrounds pass on their values to their children. In particular, the study focuses on child rearing attitudes and practices and how these relate to cultural beliefs about the nature of childhood. Parenting-21 aims to provide a detailed picture of how ordinary Australian families are raising their children today, preparing them for life into the next century; and to compare the influence of various cultural backgrounds when raising children; and, to contribute to discussions regarding the development of support services for families with young children.

INTRODUCTION:

'I always swore I wasn't going to be like my mother as a parent'; this comment was made by a mother of a 4.5 year old child, when asked whether there was any overlap in her parenting of her child and how she was parented by her own mother. You may be interested to know that when she was asked for details about what she did that was similar to her mother, she replied, 'just about everything'!

The author of Emotional Milestones, Ruth Schmidt Neven, has said 'parents are not made at birth but become parents over time'. But the role of parent is one for which no training or educational qualification is required (Neven, 1996; Tomison, in press). What then, is the basis for this role.

From their work with a community of American parents, researchers Harkness, Super, and Keefer (1992), proposed 3 sources that parents use for thinking about children and about themselves as parents:

• own family of origin-
  
• informal sources (such as relatives, friends, and neighbours)
  
• and formal sources (such as parenting books, the media and professionals working with families)

Data for the paper come from the Australian Institute of Family Studies' Parenting 21 project, which seeks to understand parenting from the perspective of parents themselves. The late Harry McGurk, who was the driving force behind the project, referred to this as the 'bottom-up' approach to parenting studies. In brief, Parenting-21 is about shedding light on how ordinary parents in ordinary Australian families are going about the task of bringing up their children. To reflect the diversity of Australia's families, the project includes families from Anglo and Vietnamese communities, the Torres Strait Islands, as well as a sample of families from around Australia (McGurk and Kolar, 1997).

SAMPLE DESCRIPTION:

• However, the preliminary findings presented here are based only on the interviews with 60 Anglo-Australian parents who volunteered to take part Parenting-21.

• For the purpose of the project, families were defined as 'Anglo-Australian' where a child, aged between 6 months and 8 years, and both parents were Australian born, with grandparents born in either Australia or the United Kingdom.
  
  
• Selected families lived in the Melbourne metropolitan area and were interviewed in mid 1996.
  
  Chart - Demographic details

• Mothers were the main respondents with only 3 fathers in the sample. The expectation, and in retrospect a naive one, was that the sample would include a relatively even number of mothers and fathers. Unfortunately, for reasons associated with the way we recruited, this did not happen.

• Most parents were in a first marriage with at least two children and were aged 35 and over.

• In terms of qualifications and employment, 78% had a tertiary qualification and 73% were employed (mostly on a part-time basis).
  
  
• A point to note is that because parents volunteered to take part, there is a bias towards the well educated and middle-class, and those willing to express their views; views which may well differ from those who did not volunteer. Although the sample is not therefore, technically representative, it is relatively homogeneous. As such, the views expressed may be relevant to other similarly composed groups of parents.

Before moving on to the main focus of this paper, it is appropriate to address a central issue in parenting: what does it mean to be a parent. Importantly, what does it mean to parents themselves.

This selection of quotes highlights the overall tone of comments made when parents were asked 'what does being a parent mean to you':

For one it meant:
'Responsibility for teaching about love and caring for others; responsibility for keeping them safe and secure so that their own personalities can develop in a healthy way...'

Another said:
'Something very special, close and loving; it means an enormous responsibility, it changes your life course - once you start being a parent it's an ongoing thing with worries and anxieties attached to that'

And finally:
'It's the most important job you will ever do in your life. The social ramifications of parenting are so important because the responsibility is yours to bring happy, well adjusted people into adulthood...and the joy and despair are often seconds apart and always oscillating; we really take being a parent so seriously'

As demonstrated, the role represents an incredibly significant and major undertaking; one keenly felt by this group of parents. What influence then, does family of origin have in helping parents learn about their role.

PRELIMINARY FINDINGS

Family of origin:

It's only in recent years that the influence of family of origin has been more widely considered as a source of parental beliefs; in the past, research was generally confined to those parents who were abused as children and how they subsequently approached their own parenting tasks (Luster and Okagaki, 1993:63). However, and to quote Neven again:

'...the process and the experience of childhood does not end with childhood itself. It remains within all of us as a live and informative experience that influences our current and future relationships and activities' (1996:13; emphasis added).

Chart - What was it like growing up in your family

The chart shows the overall ratings assigned to parents on the basis of their background descriptions. Clearly shown, is that the vast majority were able to recollect their first ten years, with over 60 per cent describing this formative period in a positive way. Thirteen per cent of parents, however, gave negative descriptions of their childhoods, while just over 20 per cent talked about positive and negative aspects.

Chart - Closeness to own parents when growing up

In addition, 55 per cent reported, that during these early years, they had 'extremely close' or 'very close' relationships with their mothers; with fathers, it was 39 per cent. In general, most relationships with fathers tended to be relatively less 'intense' with parents describing those relationships as 'close' or 'sometimes close'.

Chart - Closeness to own parents now

How had those ties evolved. The chart shows that, generally, relationships remained stable and even strengthened over time, particularly with fathers. For a few parents, however, a 'close' relationship with own mother during childhood had become more variable in adulthood. In addition, geographical proximity showed physical closeness with over half the sample living within an hour's drive or closer to their own parents, whom they saw at least once a week.

Chart - Sources of general information on parenting

Parents were asked about who they turned to for general information regarding parenting. The chart shows the 13 most popular sources contacted by parents over a 12 month period. Clearly represented is family of origin including both mother and father, and sister. Informal sources (with friends and neighbours, as well as other important people such as spouse and mother-in-law), and formal sources (which included maternal and child health services, the general medical profession, books, magazines, newspapers and television), also have a strong presence.

Most popular contacts, as reported by over half the sample, were: own mother, friends and books. Parents could, of course, go to more than one source, and this was in fact, the norm rather than the exception. In other words, parents tended to have a network of contacts they turned to. As one parent explained:

'With (my own) mother, I want to use the techniques she used because they don't seem to have had a harmful effect; I trust her and she will be honest with me. (With) friends and neighbours, because they have more current experiences with children's socialising'.

Parents were asked about the sorts of things they wanted to do that were similar to, as well as different from, the strategies adopted by their own mothers and fathers.

Their comments have been categorised under the following themes which incorporate both the positive and not so positive factors. Thus, parent demeanour (or behaviour), includes descriptions such as respectful, tolerant, patient, possessing a sense of humour, intelligent, and committed; as well as, arrogant, inflexible, and impatient. Emotional and physical environment, refers to the nurturing of self-esteem, stability, harmony, loving relationships and good role models; as well as instability, undue pressure or demands on the child, and in a couple of cases, chaos and fear. Communication was mentioned, as was involvement which included spending time and playing with children, generally being interested and able to enjoy their company. Availability simply meant that the parent was physically around. Discipline, referred to both democratic and authoritarian approaches, consistent and clear rules and boundaries, as well as too many rules or no boundaries. The 'other' category included references to parents as hardworking, financially supportive, or able to maintain some balance between competing roles.

Needless to say, these themes overlap and are significantly interrelated. For example, it would be difficult to describe an environment as nurturing if the demeanour of a parent suggested a lack of respect for a child. Therefore, a rigorous interpretation would be inappropriate. Nevertheless, these preliminary findings serve as a broad illustration of those childrearing components that were salient to this particular group of parents.

Chart - Aspects of mother's parenting style

With regards to own mother's parenting style, comments overall, reflected a desire by parents to do some things in a similar fashion while approaching other aspects differently. The chart shows an emphasis on parent demeanour, the home environment, and discipline, with a slightly higher proportion of parents reporting that they approached these differently compared with those who followed a similar style. With involvement, parents tended to replicate the style of their mothers.

But, the contrast between change and continuity was most prominent with regards to being available for your child; for some parents, who recalled that their mothers were 'always there' , the aim was to follow in their footsteps. But for this group (n=10), availability for some meant they worked part-time or more casually, while for others, it meant no paid employment, but rather, being physically available on a full-time basis.

It was somewhat surprising that communication did not emerge as a prominent theme. While a handful of parents mentioned it explicitly, others may well have regarded it as a cornerstone of, for example, parent behaviour or involvement.

Chart - Aspects of father's parenting style

Reflecting on the style of their own fathers, parents emphasised parent demeanour and involvement; a high proportion replicated the style, while an equally high proportion had done things differently. In a few cases, communication was an issue that parents had opted to handle differently from their own fathers.

For a handful of parents, family of origin did not present a style of parenting that they embraced and made a conscious effort to recreate. Equally though, the style was rejected with other parents who approached childrearing in very different ways. Overall, family of origin provided a model of parenting generally valued by this sample; nevertheless, it was a model that a high proportion of parents had adapted to incorporate some areas of change.

How, then, did the group judge their personal parenting strategy: what did they perceive to be their strengths and weaknesses in rearing their own children. Parents were asked to talk about the things they were 'good at' as well as those things they were 'not so good at'. When asked what she was good at as a parent, one mother said: 'raising her voice'!

Chart - As a parent... (good at..., not so good at...)

In terms of the positive aspects of their parenting, a high proportion referred to the emotional/physical environment, involvement and parent behaviour. However, most comments referred to some negative aspect of behaviour with close to half explaining they were not good at remaining patient or tolerant, or keeping their temper under control, especially at times of stress or feeling tired.

Discipline, too, was an aspect identified as a shortcoming; some worried about being inconsistent, inflexible, overly strict, or unable to resolve conflicts. Disciplining a child, in fact, was one aspect of parenting that a number of parents did not enjoy.

The chart shows an interesting shift in themes, and although not prominent, it does hint at a change in the nature of parenting. That is, when talking about themselves as parents, the theme: availability, was not mentioned; instead, parents talked about the difficulties they experienced 'keeping up'; this referred to the daily demands of life and the rushing around involved trying to get children to where they needed to be, on time.

DISCUSSION:

In general, the preliminary findings suggests two things: the first, whether they embraced the child rearing strategies of their own mothers and fathers, or rejected them, most parents had learnt something about parenting from their families of origin. Second, the data reflect both change and continuity in parenting style from one generation to the next; only a few parents said there was nothing they wanted to replicate, while an equally small number said there was nothing they wanted to do differently. In other words, in most cases the style was adopted with some changes made.

Why should this be important? The parent-child relationship is an important and complex one; it is based on mutual rather than uni-directional influence. In other words, just as parents affect the development of children, so children themselves affect the development of parents' ideas and expectations (Okagaki & Divecha, 1993:54; Schaffer, 1996:207). However, there are other influences also, including the presence of social networks and the quality of the marital relationship; but any attempt to understand how parental beliefs are formed and how they may be linked to behaviour requires an understanding of the history of the parent, prior to becoming a parent (Luster & Okagaki, 1993:245)

Primary prevention programs are aimed at educating the general community on such issues as child abuse and neglect, and the use of appropriate means of discipline (as opposed to physical punishment); for such programs to be appropriately targeted, it is important to know about the range of beliefs held by the community, and what informs those beliefs (Donovan, 1987).

References

Donovan, R. (1987), Value of the Child, Report to Department of Community Services, Donovan Research, Melbourne, Vol.1.

Harkness, S., Super, C.M. and Keefer, C.H. (1992), 'Learning to be an American parent: how cultural models gain directive force', in R.G. D'Andrade and C. Strauss (eds), Human Motives and Cultural Models, Cambridge University Press, Cambridge.

Luster, T. and Okagaki, L. (1993), 'Multiple influences on parenting: ecological and life-course perspectives', in T. Luster and L. Okagaki (eds), Parenting: an ecological perspective, Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., New Jersey.

McGurk, H. and Kolar, V. (1997), 'Exploring parenthood and parenting: an introduction to Parenting-21', Family Matters, No.48, pp.38-40.

Neven, R.S. (1996), Emotional Milestones, Australian Council for Educational Research Ltd, Camberwell, Melbourne.

Okagaki, L. and Divecha, D.J. (1993), 'Development of Parental Beliefs', in T. Luster and L. Okagaki (eds), Parenting: an ecological perspective, Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., New Jersey.

Schaffer, R.H. (1996), Social development, Blackwell Publishers Ltd, Cambridge.

Tomison, A.M. (in press), 'Valuing parent education: the cornerstone of child abuse preventions', National Child Protection Clearing House Issues Paper No.10, Australian Institute of Family Studies, Melbourne.